a little piece of eternity

周杰伦 - 说好的幸福呢

2008-10-26T09:41:00.003+08:00

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心依稀数着你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得

你不懂了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

Jay Chou

2008-10-15T22:00:00.002+08:00

My fave artist is out with his new album!

Omfg and he's learnt how to play a cajon! I also want! haha.. a bit sad that he included it in his mv... cos like that then the whole world will know about it alr... so somehow... it has lost its sense of mystery, something which I've always liked about it. >.<

Ahs. can't wait for payday. then i'd get his album. yums. ^^

ten more days!

Still A Beautiful Mess

2008-10-09T06:23:00.001+08:00

You run away.

Sometimes, many times.

But I am still here.

And you know that I am but a call away.

A Beautiful Mess

2008-10-08T00:06:00.002+08:00

You are very lonely.

Appearing to have everything, yet ...

Irregardless.

I'm always here.

Anytime. Anywhere.

To shop for.

2008-10-04T23:23:00.003+08:00

Books I WILL get my hands on. Eventually.

1) Speeches that Changed the World

Simon Sebag Montefiore
RRP: $30.50

This book contains over 50 momentous and thought-provoking speeches from a wide range of historical eras and nations, and includes iconic photography, biographies of each speaker, the history of why each speech was significant and what happened as a result.

2) Eat Pray Love

Elizabeth Gilbert
RRP: $18.15

Eat Pray Love is the bestselling, funny, tender and utterly beguiling true story of a woman's sojourn through three countries in search of happiness following a heartbreaking divorce.

3) The Travel Book

Lonely Planet
RRP: $54.60
A pictorial dedicated to travel and the world, capturing almost every country on the planet with photographs and vastly useful information.

4) Long Way Down

Ewan McGregor & Charley Boorman
RRP: $23.05
From London to New York, two friends describe their amazing, sometimes terrifying, oftentimes hilarious and always heartwarming adventures that occurred during their motorbike trip around the world.

5) Shadow of the Silk Road

Colin Thubron
RRP: $26.95
This book recounts the adventures of the author when travelling through the Silk Route - from the drifts of the trade route out of the heart of China into the mountains of Central Asia, across northern Afghanistan and the plains of Iran into Kurdish Turkey.

6) Travel Where To Go When

Craig Doyle
RRP: $80.25

This is the ultimate holiday planner, highlighting the world's most spectacular places and the best time to visit each one. This winning combination of inspirational narrative with sumptuous photography brings over 130 global destinations to life.

delicious dream

2008-10-04T12:40:00.000+08:00

sweet simplicities.

oh my.

tasty! =D

train of random thoughts

2008-10-04T09:03:00.007+08:00

Today. Minutes past 8. Again.
Again I woke up with a start.
Again my heart pounded furiously.
Still my heart pounds.
Strong and fast; madly.

Beginning to identify this emotion;
categorising it like it's some kinda chemical.
Putting it in place on the shelf amongst the others.
Perhaps it's one sixth fear; reacted with two fifths worry?
What should I name it?
1. Care and Concern (Beta version)
No, doesn't quite cut it.
2. Desperation?
Nahs, that's not what desperation is.

~

Subconsciousness -
whereby I lose all forms of concentration and the only point of focus is my hand bound to a simple pen,
my fingers tightly wrapped around it,
feeding it energy to unleash my emotions...

~

Open.
I open my eyes and I do not see.
With myopia, I see -
Blurred shapes and a swirl of colours.
With my lens, I see -
Barely in the dark.

Eyes closed.
Immediately I see so much more.

I hear -
the tiniest of sounds.
Picking up basslines so faint,
yet so beautiful.
Parts of music that reveals to you which song they belong to.
the faintest of noises.
Comforting, usual noises like the whirring of the fan.
Annoying cacophony of early morning traffic.
Odd nuances in speech.

I breathe -
The scent of nature: the rain, the grass the flowers;
Fragrantly blooming of life, with lives.
The whiffs of perfumes: musky/fresh/sporty/sweet
Consumables luring me to my next purchase.
The aroma of food. Seranades my mind.
Delicious. Tasty. Scrumptious. Bleahs, but okays.
Tantalises my taste buds.

I taste...
Sourness that shocks you.
Sweetness that melts you.
Bitternesss that bites you.
Saltiness that drains you.
Spiciness that burns you.
Umami that thrills you.

I feel...
so much more than my senses combined.
I touch... ... ...
But what comes is more than just what I touched.
It could be a spark, a tingle
Something hot; something cold?

I feel... ...
and I fall down the bottomless pit of endless emotions
A databank of colours
A well of texture
Things that you only ever ever only feel.
And then you wonder... why so what's that how's it where from who's it for.

~

Lovely Saturday morning.
Home alone.

~

New emotions. They scare me.
I feel like I don't know myself at times;
they control me - take over my subconsciousness
they eat me up and i don't eat
they turn me inside out and i drink till my insides are out
they burn within me and bring me to levels of desperation I never know I can feel

I. am. afraid. of. how. I. feel.

~

Do unto others what you want unto you.
Shut myself at home the whole week.
A period of random thoughts.
Just tired of giving for a little while.
Time to recharge. to rest. to rethink.
Rebuild my energies. Settle my thoughts...

~

Thursday.
Tasted the sweetness of nostalgia,
Felt the quietness of grief,
Stung by the thrill of excitement,
Enchanted by the spill of contentment.
Totally awashed with emotions.

~

To salsa, in unknown depths.
Tango. in jest.
A burlesque, cheekily... to tempt.
And end the night, a beautiful waltz
Things to do, to have memories of.

~

Dreams. I'm a dreamer.
Too many dreams.
You gotta give up some to pursue others.
Choose wisely.

~

I think too much.
Seghe mentali overdose.
Focus, concentrate. Be content.
Let go.

~

Writing my heart out. writing. writing.

and my heart is pounding. Still.

What am I to you? Who are you to me? How has this become?

2008-09-15T23:57:00.002+08:00

Whatever Makes You Happy, by William Suttcliffe

Wonder if it's a coincidence that you wanted me to return this book... I read the synopsis and instantly bonded with the book:

In William Sutcliffe's new novel, the hapless gap-yearers of "Are You Experienced?" have given way to three men in their early thirties who are not (in the eyes of their alienated mothers) properly settled. Matt works for lads mag BALLS! and is a serial dater of girls half his age. Paul is an experienced hand at lying and evasion to keep his life choices a secret from his mother. Daniel spends his Saturday nights alone in his flat reading novels, pining for ex-girlfriend and love of his life Erin. The mothers decide to launch a co-ordinated attack: they will arrive, without warning, to stay with their sons for one week with the intention of man-handling them back onto the right path.

Rather, I felt extremely interested in the character named Daniel. One of the parts that struck me most...

Throughout the last decade and a half, Daniel's entire adult life, all other women had been measured in Erins. Or rather, in fractions of an Erin. And as this occurred to him, he realised he was definitely stuck, utterly lost, forever. Because even if he did meet the perfect woman - more beautiful than Erin, funnier, kinder, cleverer- he'd still be measuring her in Erins. She had become his calibration, and that would never change. She was engraved into him.
As things stood now, the only meaningful relationship in his life was with Erin's absence, and he could not imagine that ever changing. But he would never go back to her. She had humiliated and betrayed him. She had smashed his egg.
Daniel confessed to his mother that he had, as she thought, simply run away, from his life. But he didn't regret it. he didn't see an alternative. Physical distance was the only thing that helped him forget.
"But it hasn't helped you forget," she said.
"No," he replied, "But I remember less often."

Coincidentally... I recognise one of the cushions pictured in the book cover... It's a cushion cover that I have. Affinity with the damn book!! ^^ There's a couple of other parts that I felt strongly for... but it's too lengthy for me to want to type it out. =X

Revelations...

I learnt alot about myself these two weeks. And I've grown alot. I'm going to let go; yet I'm gonna continue trying. I wish I wish you know what I understand, feel what I feel, understand what I know. That I have nothing to lose, and that we only live once - regrets tend to be unavoidable, but I should strive not to do anymore bad.

Thanks a lot, Ste. For being really kind. And actually, amazingly understanding. i REALLY LEARNT PLENTY, though I don't know why I only managed to understand so much only recently. Ahas, I still can't believe you did something this crazy. Hope you have a safe trip back... I'm sorry I couldn't be a better host... And yes, I promise to write!

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

When Words Fail, I Cry, I Fall, I Murder, I Run...

2008-09-07T22:21:00.005+08:00

Arresting.
Baring.
Clamming.
Diminishing.
Evaluating.
Fretting.
Gasping.
Hearting.
Incurring.
Jarring.
Kindling.
Living.
Masquerading.
Nibbling.
Orgasming.
Pretending.
Questioning.
Regretting.
Sifting.
Trembling.
Understanding.
Volunteering.
Wilting.
XXXing.
Yielding.
Zeroing.

Sporadic Update

2008-07-12T13:40:00.003+08:00

Always Be My Baby
by David Cook

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby

Don't know why but this song really leaves its mark on me.. I like it VERYVERYVERY much! Gonna let it be my first guitar song.. just 'cos it's easy. =) A lil' update: Been blasting resumes everywhere, Monday's gonna be the day that decides my 'fate'. Haven't been doing much, 'cos too busy OUTOUTOUT. And am pretty tired actually. So much to do! But feeling so lethargic! *sighs* Will be moving my stuffs over this weekend, 'cos sleepover-ing on Tues! *Cheers!*

Shall update with photos when everything is more settled! =D

oddly sleepless

2008-07-08T03:22:00.003+08:00

damn the rain. i woke up late, 1030am, stoned and slept back again.

now 12 hours later, at 3:30am I woke up. all of a sudden. after a mere 3 hour "sleep". *sighs* Don't know why this happens whenever I need to wake up early the next day. Gonna wakey at 630am to jog. Realised how precious mornings can be if you wakey before the sun rises. I hate it when it's hot and humid.

Couple of stuffs cropped up which are hindering the "design" of my precious room. *sighs* Not exactly happy thoughts. Think happy think happy. Hmms, looking forward to the next KNS outing though. =D Gonna be like this full day event. Mwahahahahas. Will ensure a camwhoring session. Love 'em gals. *kisses*

Still jobless too. Bahs. When can I get a drumset and invite Enchanté dearies over to jammmm. Rars. When can I get $$$ to buy all that stuffs evey is hankering for! When can I go for my next holiday, my next Eurotrip?! BAHS.

Sunday mornings... hmmmmMm. Were meant to be beautiful. Owells. I feel badbadbad. Waiting is a selfish thing, is it not? What if... it's not you? Ohmy. I am so afraid sometimes. I think maybe I am tooooooooo feelings-oriented. Letting my heart rule over my head. Blahs. Am I being silly. I don't know what I'm doing either. *Marge's voice: Hmrhs. Eveyyy! Should learn to take things slowly!!!*

I'm not playing... =((( so hurt hurt hurt.
you're not the only confused one you know.
meanies you. humprhs.
mebbe really shldn't be going out with you that often, for the best of both our interests. *sighs*

Own Space

2008-06-25T01:32:00.003+08:00

Having your own space is a luxury, and a huge responsibility. I will keep my room neat! Haven't been packing my stuffs for days... so later on, I'll spend my entire day clearing up. Can't wait to get to the room-personalisation part. =)

Still... I MUST GET THROUGH THE ORGANISATION PART TOO. and I hereby promise myself to NOT misplace stuffs and to keep things proper. And to procrastinate less.

So... I will start jogging. Target: >4km. Still contemplating the Nike 10km run. A tad expensive though, cos I'm gonna join Army 21 and StanChart 42. And... alcohol ban! For a month! Food ban... shouldn't take deep fried stuff cos of my throat. And cough. Yikes.

And I so need to drink more water. Keep feeling dehydrated.

Still no news ever since I sent out my resume. Will be patient. And will keep my hopes up. =)

Which means roomwarming will be delayed. hee~ Can't wait to have chillout sessions in my own room with da gals. *grins*

Fang will finally be back on Thurs... *beams*

drums rock my life

2008-06-24T01:09:00.002+08:00

Happy!

Had a nice lunch with Viv, Grace, Ric & Zhenny @Soup Spoon, Tanjong Pagar. Omg. Can you believe what I did... I actually went Raffles instead for no reason. =.= After that went Zhenny's shop to chat.. very interesting learning about the jade and jewelry trade. Haha.. guess he's just someone very different from the usual snobs you see around. =) Really glad the class's still keeping in touch... ^^

Then it's family time! Yays. Dad & Sis both on hols.. so we went for Get Smart. Felt it's pretty flat. Can't wait for Zohan & the Toys+Comic Convention this Sunday! And pee, is our ECP date still on? ;)

HAPPIEST. Late for drums. but very happy cos I suddenly felt very energized and caught on pretty quickly as compared to the manyyyy previous months. I guess the jamming helped alot. =))) Boosted my confidence.. though my bass still anyhow. ROFL.

Can't wait for my drumset. First and foremost! Job Job Job! *crosses fingers*

If only it's as easy as buying another heart. >.<

I am really unhappy.

2008-06-22T21:25:00.002+08:00

Going through a rough patch now.. Was informed that the position I was interviewed for... will be closed 'cos they decided to shuffle internal staff for it. =( I could continue waiting for another position... but at the same time I've started hunting for other jobs. Owells. Guess I'm gonna hafta slog my guts out to afford all the stuffs I've been hankering for. =(((

*sighs* so much to do, so much time, so little will, so little focus, such a lack of drive.

All of a sudden, I need motivation.

I want the sense of security and reliability. But I need. to find. my strength. and build on my independence.

Don't want to hurt anybody. I'm so afraid of that. Ahs, but some things you just can't help. Some feelings you can't suppress. Just read something very beautifully written for me and I feel like crying. Ohwells. How on earth does one ever get over this! I used to imagine us together till the end of time. Lovely dream.

And then there's that other one, special connection. How can you deny something so beautiful? Maybe... just maybe it's an illusion built on words and desire. Maybe it's really just "him". But there's no way you'd know for sure... unless you try. And that's the scary part. Yesyes, we all know. =)

Ahs. Fear. Makes life more precious at times doesn't it? Makes it worth living, maybe?

Stars by Switchfoot
Maybe I've been the problem
Maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself
The outcome feels the same

I've been thinking maybe I've been partly cloudy
Maybe I'm the chance of rain
And maybe I'm overcast
And maybe all my luck's washed down the drain

I've been thinking 'bout everyone,
Everyone you look so lonely
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself

Stars looking at a planet
Watching entropy and pain
And maybe to start to wonder
How the chaos in our lives could pass as sane

I've been thinking 'bout the meaning of resistance
Of a hope beyond my own
And suddenly the infinite and penitent
Begin to look like home

I've been thinking about everyone
Everyone you looks so empty
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself.
Yeah!

Everyone, Everyone feels so lonely
Everyone, yeah everyone feels so empty
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I feel like myself
When I look at the stars
The stars, I see someone...

They say time heals all wounds. And that we are all linked by fate. Let's see how far our paths run accordingly. =)

RA(21)

2008-06-18T13:45:00.003+08:00

Happy belated 21st bday to me!

Since I came back, loads has been happening man... so I was thinking if I don't update.. I probably won't EVER get down to it. ^^

Must say... 21 years old. Really quite a different "age". It's where you're legally a friggin' adult. So moi parents have been nagging me about getting a job... yadayadayada. Well... I'm still in "negotiation" with the bank, i.e. WAITING for them mainly. *crosses fingers* They should be getting back to me today or tomorrow. With good news. I hopehopehope.

Okays... so I've been busy going out! Wanna thank all the people who made my burpday a really great one.

Kudos to KNS... we've been firm friends for what? 7 years?! hee... really love you gals... thankews for the cupcake surprise at Brusselsprouts man... and for all sending me to the airport... and YES THE MANY KISSES. Dig y'all man! \m/!! psst... btw.. am I supposed to still be getting KNS photos? ROFL.

Next up'd be a bagful of thankews to K&Y... thanks for looking after me on the Thai trip... and for the expected surprise! haha. Was really a crazy, enjoyable and definitely memorable trip. =D

And ROY! Thanks for dinner la... My gosh. Still can't believe *we* ate so much. =X yummies. and the holga's pict is nice! Next time shall borrow your holga to play okies... when I'm earning a decent salary and can afford to be extravagant on the damned film. ^^

Ean & Bin... wah~ never expected you all to have something for me too... thanksthanks man... I was reallllllly surprised. =) Damn sweet la, the dvds.

Family... of course must thank my sis... who got the mango cheesecake for me! and my parents.. urms.. no pressie but I supposed being able to go for the Euro & Thai trips is more than enough as a bday pressie. THANKEWS! and my relatives... for the angbaos to support my trips as well. Really quite touched. ^^

Ricky&Rynel... thankews for the wellwishes and the absolut mango. haha~ see already I feel damn shiok, don't even hafta drink. Meet up soon man!

And thanks to everybody else who wished me a happy 21st! =D

Somehow still got a lot of people to thank... but my brain - SUPER STONED stage. Been drinking alot for the past 5 days... I shan't even start recapping WHAT I drank. Had quite a bit of fun too last month, though I *don't remember* drinking so much. Woonies' 20th bday bash, his 'last' gig-cum-class outing, the late-night drinking & clubbing... KTV with BF&gals.. Brusselsprouts several times..Mothers' day pressie, Fathers' day @MarutamaRamen, BF's timbre gig, jamming, many many many movie outings... GOSH. I think I've caught everything there is to be caught.

And KNOWS WHAT! I'm finally getting my own room! Parents gonna lemme convert the study into my bedroom. *beams* Can't do much cos of all the built in cabinets... but heys.. I'm gonna do something nice to the blank wall. Can't wait mans. Then I shall have "roomwarming". hehehe~ =DDD Fangs... so totally doing this for you man! *muackies*

And last but not least... Mraz is indeed coming to Singapore. I can stop dreaming about him now. Teehees~

Okies. That should be about it for now... Actually alot more to update, should post photos and stuff but yea, I'm just too drained. Adios!

Reallyreallyreally praying, wishing, hoping hard that I'm getting the job. Can do wonders with the pay ya... fulfill my dreams! wOooohOooos~ *cross fingers*

L-O-V-E

2008-06-11T19:10:00.004+08:00

Caught Sex & the City yesternight - it was meaningful, in more ways than one. So when I read this particular e-mail, I felt pretty bowled over by some of the content. Especially especially especially the first one:

I got a forwarded e-mail, citing quotes from children aged 4 to 8. These were based on their answers to the question: "What does Love mean?". And here're my favourites, in order of priority too! ^^

1) You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.

2) When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.

3) If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.

Love is...

1) What's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.
2) When you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
3) When you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.
4) When a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.
5) What makes you smile when you're tired.
6) When your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.
7) When you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he
was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly Gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the
little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

a touch of sweetness in the simplest, even silly, things~ =)

Where is my soul?

2008-06-09T21:15:00.011+08:00

心情低落.

Easier Than Love
by Switchfoot

Ah La La La La La La,
Ah La La La La La La

Sex is currency
She sells cars,
She sells magazines
Addictive bittersweet, clap your hands,
with the hopeless nicotines

Everyone's a lost romantic,
Since our love became a kissing show
Everyone's a Casanova,
Come and pass me the mistletoe

Everyone's been scared to death of dying here alone

She is easier than love
Is easier than life
It's easier to fake and smile and bribe

It's easier to leave
It's easier to lie
It's harder to face ourselves at night
Feeling alone,
What have we done?
What is the monster we've become?

Where is my soul?

Numb

Sex is industry,
The CEO, of corporate policy
Skin-deep ministry,
Suburban youth, hail your so-called liberty

Every advertising antic,
Our banner waves with a neon glow
War and love become pedantic,
We wage love with a mistletoe

Everyone's been scared to death of dying here alone

She is easier than love
Is easier than life
It's easier to fake and smile and bribe

It's easier to leave
It's easier to lie
It's harder to face ourselves at night
Feeling alone,
What have we done?
What is the monster we've become?

Where is my soul?

Ah, la, la, la, la,
(Yeah!)
La la la la la la la,

La, la, la, la, oh,
(Yeah!)
La, la, la, la, no!

It's easier to love,
It's easier to love

It's easier to love,
It's easier to love

She is easier than love,
It's easier to love

Everyone's been scared to death of,
Everyone's been scared to death of,
Everyone's been scared to death of dying here alone,
alone

Sex is easier than love,
It's easier than love,
It's easier to fake and smile and brag

It's easier to leave,
It's easier to lie,
It's harder to face ourselves at night
Feeling alone,
What have we done?
What is the monster we've become?

Where is my soul? (Where is my?)
Where is my soul?

Ah, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,

La, la, la, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la, no!

La, la, la, la, oh

Overly sober to the point of mild depression.
Not that I'm thinking alot, but I just keep having wave after wave of emotions engulfing me.
It's all very overwhelming ya.

Feels like it just happened. Feels like one can never .... ..... . *sighs*

Sometimes you'd crave for the intimacy, but somehow you feel like that's unattainable anymore.
Still, life moves on. And yes, you try to look for substitutes; stuffs to busy yourself with. Indulge in your other loves. And try not to notice how sometimes, just sometimes, something feels just that little bit amiss. Just a bit.

Movies

2008-05-29T23:15:00.003+08:00

Pride & Prejudice
Favouritest love story ever. Love Keira Knightley, 'cos I think she has this air of elegant beauty, altho she's like anorexic =(((. And I like Darcy's odd charms. He's not the usual kinda guy ladies fall for... but I like how he's sweet in his pursuit of her, in the sense of the trouble he takes just so the one he loves would be happy. ^^ Romance. Yums.

The Breakup
Somehow it reminds of the past.
Was expecting it to have the usual fairytale ending, whereby the couple eventually patches and lives happily ever after... but no, they ended up leading separate lives. Albeit happily ya.

那時的你說　要跟我手牽手
一起走到時間的盡頭

...

從此以後我都不敢抬頭看
彷彿我的天空失去了顏色

...

我們的愛　過了就不再回來
直到現在　我還默默的等待
我們的愛　我明白　已變成你的負擔
只是永遠　我都放不開　最後的溫暖

...

不要再問你是否愛我
現在我想要自由天空
遠離開這被綑綁的世界
不再寂寞

(excerpts from "我們的愛 by F.I.R.")

Indiana Jones
Very funny!!! I like brainless action movies where you can just sit comfortably and marvel at the fighting scenes, get impressed by how suave the male lead is, drool at hot babes, laugh at the good lines, plunge into the usually predictable storyline. Pity they included extra-terrestrial stuffs this time round. Was never a fan of sci-fi. Bleahs~

Random

2008-05-29T02:17:00.005+08:00

I wandered lonely as a cloud.
This emptiness, it speaks out loud.
Broken pieces never heal.
Ancient paint just fade and peel.

Beauty never ever lasts.
Ugliness rears its head out fast.
Release these poor tortured souls.
Silent those screams of mindless ghouls.

Them lines they reek of truth and fear.
Rejection smirks at my big fat rear.
Simple. let's just hideaway.
Let's run! faraway and pray. (even play!)

Somewhere wild, someplace safe.
Somebody mild who doesn't chafe.
Anywhere... in the midst of... anyone.
Any old how. we all. just. want. to get to. the. One.

Been having a bout of moodswings recently. Was kinda moody yesterday, but feeling pretty upbeat today to the extent that I felt like SINGING. In the midst of everything, a sudden mellowness descended upon and ta-dah! I had some sort inspiration. Hence this rhyme. It's supposed to have a Dr Seuss feel. Something crazy from a cranky gal ya. ^^

Month of May's almost ending...
Time to update's soon coming!

Sheesh. >.<

at crossroads

2008-05-21T00:54:00.010+08:00

Serenity
Undisturbed state; tranquility; clearness; brightness; a title of honor

Drawing this card puts you on notice: It is time to honor yourself. Take time to find that safe quiet place within and really think. Get very clear with yourself. Replenish all that you have given out. Regain a tranquil state of mind.

This is a very special card. It is here to remind you of your own incredible worth. Renew your energy and prepare to return to the outer world with bright anticipation of the adventure ahead.

This card can also signify the beginning of clear, calm sailing ahead, if you take the time to value yourself first.

Seek peace within your life. Do the simple things. Walk in nature and allow your mind to wander. Give yourself permission to experience whatever is necessary. You might be amazingly surprised.

Do not allow others to ruffle your feathers. You do have a choice.

This is a time to expand your oneness with all life in a quiet way that nurtures your very soul. Go within.

An energy of luminous intensity is available to you now. If you have the courage to tap into it, it could change the direction of your life forever. How will you choose to experience it? Will you ignore it, run from it, or embrace it? Great reverence is called for.

Accomplished another item from my "random things to do in life" list and had a tarot card reading.

What I need is Serenity.

Shall reflect more.

Yes, I know I'm supposed to update stuffs regarding my birthday celebrations... BUTTT! Celebrations ain't over till the end of May, so yeps, till then! =)

Tio Tagged!

2008-05-15T16:19:00.004+08:00

Tagged! by Moomoo

Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

Questions:

1. What disappoints you the most?
The inability to appreciate life.

2. Where will you go if someone sponsors you a tour ticket?
Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory or the Magic Faraway Tree or Hogwarts.
Realistically, Antarctica would be perfecto.

3. What's your favorite thing to do?
Learning & cultivating my many interests! Yums.
And it ain't all about food either! ^^

4. Do you think money can buy happiness?
Well, when I'm neutral/happy, money can easily bring on more happiness. When I'm sad, most likely it's over reasons that money can't solve. So MAYBE.

5. If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
Travel around the world with my one true love. ^^

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Hello?! Do you believe you can sustain your survival without paying for basic necessities? -.-"""

7. What's the most regretful thing that you've done before?
Choosing Dip in Banking & Finance over Dip in Mass Comms. >.<

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Money no enough! Use it to win another ten!

9. What is the most embarrassing thing that happened to you recently?
Embarassing things happen to me all the time. MOST recent embarassment would be uh... having traditional thai massage after a heavy dinner. Why? Tummy was digesting food, digestion was making LOUD, CLEARLY AUDIBLE rumbling noises. Bad? Masseuse was giggling throughout. -.-"

10. Should bengs and lians die?
Should mats & minnahs die?
Should mangens die?
Stop discriminating la dey!

11. What makes you happy?
Living life to the fullest. With moi loved ones. ;)

12. What type of person do you hate the most?
Ehs... never really hated people before but I dislike...
Manipulative, calculating people who use/bully innocents to achieve their own selfish means. DIE PEOPLE DIE!!!

13. Where do you see yourself 10 years down the road?
I'd be 31 years old.
If I find "the one"... I'd be a babelicious hot mama with cute kids and probby my own biz.
If not, I'd be this youthful, yummy, uber pretty lady with a great career. xD

14. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
Teleport!!!

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
LOVE. =) Loving (family, friends) & being loved in return.
*sings* "It’s our God-intended right to be loved love loved love loved" ;)

16. What do you do when you're alone?
Dream. I live in a world where my imagination never allows me to be alone.

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
Me no wanna be so 'soft'. >.<

18. One word to describe yourself.
^^

19. What is your least favourite animal?
Evil human beings.

20. Have you finished the quiz?
Yes. ROFL.

Tagging...
Jojo
Fang
Pee
Karen
Viv
Tim
Roy
Xinwei
Grace

You are the noise in here I cannot sleep without

2008-05-02T02:21:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was a sad evening for me as I got pangseh-ed for the umpteenth time. But had a sweet night and ended up sleeping Labour Day away. So here I am, with a body clock for the wrong part of this world. =)

Tonight is loveydovey night again. ^^ Absolutely dig cute, talented geeks. Of which the bestest of them all is Jason Mraz. Can't get over how fantastic his live performances are, even though I only like so few of his songs.

I like his casual charm. His smile. His cheeky eyes.
I think if he'd sing this for me I'd probably just swoon and die on the spot.
Oh, but not before I get a kiss from him.
He can whisper in my ear all night, nibble it softly and give it a gazillion licks.
Hees. ^^

evey is to stop being silly.

Home Hot Home

2008-04-30T01:45:00.008+08:00

Before the trip I remember thinking how quickly time will pass... and so it did and I'm back in sunny (hot & humid) Singapore.

Really love the cool temperate climate - rather freeze to death than be melting butter here. >.< Yes, enjoyed myself extremely! Great weather, delish yummies & fab friends! =D Have no idea how I'm gonna sort out the peektures though. Sifting through 13 gb is no joke ya. Hees~ We are all trigger-happy people and we have a camera each. =X Gonna attempt making an album... if I do succeed... ask me for it ya! ^^

In a nutshell: Loved Mykonos & Ams best... Mykonos for being a really romantic place and Ams for being a crazy fun place. =) Still can't get over not bringing my driving license though! And too little weed and mushies done. =X Athens was pretty disappointing, but heys, we had Sokkee's bday surprise. Videos up on facebook! Romania is a pretty quaint place; like the picturesque view there but otherwise nothing much happening. ^^ Still! Wouldn't have been so much fun if not for the 3 sweeties. Thankews for looking after, slow clumsy silly me. Love you guys to bits! *bEams

Missing local food! And chilli! Wishing for yummy pasar malam food and guess what! I was jogging and I came across a pasar malam being set up at BB Central. =D Lucky ass me. Will be whacking goreng pisangs and whatnots at my fave Bedok hawkers tml. xD Wanted to go visit Toy Museum too! But KNS all busy with exams! Ahs. April's entrance fees are at 50%! Nehminds... Pay more only ma... =X Can go with Roy or Fang next time. =) Dearest Fangs I miss you too! Have a great spa holiday ya? I woke up real late at 4pm today, too late to do anything substantial but yeps, counting down the days till you get back! *kisses* And is there anybody who wants to watch Harold & Kumar with me?! I heard it's freaking funny. =D and yesssss... it's all about weed and whatnots in Ams. How appropriate. ^^

8 more days before my next trip. 14 more days before I turn 21! Can't believe it. So old! Can't believe I'm actually getting Growth rebates or something like that from the Govt. Old.Old.Old. >.<

I wish I didn't have to wish anymore. Somehow Tim's entry saddens me so much I can feel the tears welling up. =( Owells timmy, me being silly again. Spoke to Stefano just now he told me how he's teaching this guy Salsa 'cos his fiancee who loves salsa left him so he's doing this in a bid to salvage.. Which so reminds me. =X

And yeps, I agree with Tim... when it fails and you do it again it kinda loses meaning. Oh! But when you really love somebody you wouldn't hold back and you'd give whatever you have 'cos you really adore him and you'd want him to have parts of you to cherish I guess. And every relationship is different... not that having a lot is good but somehow you learn. Although I'd rather not have learnt the previous lesson. =( It's too draining to cope with. Having a relationship for experience is very silly and a huge insult to Love but I guess when things fail you have no choice to treat it as experience ya? =|

Despite everything... I don't wanna be cynical. I still want my dreams of having true love realised.

She's kept in this quaint cottage, in the middle of the woods. It's always winter, and snow lies beautifully everywhere. There used to be Spring, so full and fresh of life and energy. Summer visited often too, with her bright rays of sunshine and neverending smiles. Autumn snucked in and out often, with her scents of romance, leaving tinges of blushing love in her sweet breezes. Now it's just a blanket of cold. Still! There's change in the air she breathes. At times the sky's so beautiful it seems like Spring has descended once again upon this godforsaken place. And even within the bleak landscape she finds the prettiest greens around. Someday the snow will melt and with it the loneliness shall go. Or perhaps she'd find the guts to leave and stumble upon an entirely new haven; a new bosom to call home.

Last Minute Preparations; Sudden Decisions

2008-04-09T02:00:00.007+08:00

Suddenly wish that we are only flying off next week.
Maybe I'm just afraid to leave everything behind.
Hmms.

Need to settle some unfinished business that has been luring the emo outta me. I almost deleted my invitation to his blog. They tell me don't read, but I can't help it. Anyway there won't be any updates there for quite some time. He's gone away... somewhere. Tried to find out through him and that's what got me so miffed. -.- Emailed his bestie... hoping to get some sorta reply. I guess if I don't then too bad la.

It's not like I'm hanging on onto/for him... but I mean after so much time together I still care as a friend and I've finally decided to just acknowledge that I'm just some sorta past dream that he talks to or conjures up in his blog. Mustn't mustn't let him affect me so much. =(

On a brighter note, been trying to keep myself busy for this week so that time will fly fly fly and take me on her wings to some happyland full of happy meals. I'm still craving for hotcakes! Supposed to meet Zhiwei for drinks after French today, but it's kinda late so we gotta postpone. Lucky for me too la, after yesterday's jamming I doubt I can take any more booze. My cough actually recovered but yesterday high till come back in full force. I couldn't sleep last night and I think I'm coming down with fever and headache. Boos.

But still! Jamming was worth it. ^^ First time I actually had the guts(albeit dutch courage) to sing my heart out, lungs flat, stomach dead. Hee~ felt good venting ars. Thanks guys, esp dearest class rep Viv for organising ar! Next time I intro you more angmoh songs la. =p

Had some retail therapy today too. I love Springfield stuff. Wanted the guys stuffs la, butbutbut. can't splurge on unnecessary stuffs la. Still spent alot though, mainly 'cos of the formal wear. Oh. and I couldn't resist grabbing undergarments since Robinsons having sale. At least I never buy heels or shoes hor. =X Wrote many "I Love You" notes to Mum, so she won't stun at the amount of clothes to wash. xD I started packing for the trip already! Scared last minute I blur and forget dumb stuff. Dug up old jackets from the depths of my wardrobe. Need to wash those too cos me particular about smells and musky cupboard odours equals ee-yer. =X So please! Grant me good weather si vous plait! >.<

Received a call from NTU today, telling me to come for an interview for my 6th choice. Which happens to be my fave Lit. Supposed to apply for SMU by today as well. In the end I'm not considering either. I confirm plus guarrantee chop I only want an overseas tertiary education. So I shall really work first. Even if I don't get the Credit Suisse opening. But I better get it la ya. Think it offers the best benefits amongst everything else. ^^ *crosses fingers; you all better cross too then when I get my salary you all can force me blanjah* 3 more nights to endure. Things to look forward to: Dinner with Roy tomorrow. Thursday shopping. And supper with Ean so I will remember to eat after French. =D and possibly a crazy Friday night. Sat's brazillian wax is scary but promisingly fun. And yessss... lunch at Rice Table. Yums. Can't wait to get well soon. For the booze and mad partying. Wheee~~ =)))

P/S: Fangs, I miss you! Haven't heard from you in ages. Like DINOSAUR AGES. Drop me an email when ya's free hokies? *hugs & kisses*

倒帶
作詞:方文山　作曲:周杰倫

我受夠了等待你所謂的安排　說的未來到底多久才來
總是要來不及才知道我可愛　我想依賴而你卻都不在

應該開心的地帶　你給的全是空白
一個人假日發呆　找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的門外　卻一直都進不來　
你累積給的傷害　我是真的很難釋懷

終於看開愛回不來　而你總是太晚明白　
最後才把話說開　哭著求我留下來
終於看開愛回不來　我們面前太多阻礙　
你的手卻放不開　寧願沒出息求我別離開

你總是要我乖慢慢計劃將來　我的眼淚卻一直掉下來
過去怎麼交代你該給的信賴　被你親手緩緩推入懸崖

從我臉上的蒼白　看到記憶慢下來　
過去甜蜜在倒帶　只是感覺已經不在
而我對你的期待　被你一次次摔壞　
已經碎成太多塊　要怎麼拼湊跟重來

終於看開愛回不來　而你總是太晚明白　
最後才把話說開　哭著求我留下來
終於看開愛回不來　我們面前太多阻礙　
你的手卻放不開　寧願沒出息求我別離開

I wish dreams never happened. But I know saying that'd mean lying to myself. Still.
There's a reason why people use the word 'shatter' when dreams fall apart right?
Now I know.

dear diary i'm sorry for this emo entry but every little bit hurts so much it's all i can do not to cry

2008-04-06T01:29:00.004+08:00

I'm trying to deal.

Having a cooling foot soak to save my poor feet. The toilet is a pretty inspirational place for me. Shall stay here and stone till all the feel is out and writ. Or till my lappy runs outta juice. Or till I feel inclined to shower. Or till the toilet seat gets too uncomfortable for me. Whichever. Haha.

Just back from a mini-class dinner at Wheelock's Fish & Co. Apparently, it's a sorta sending us off (to Romania and beyond) thingy. I like the mini class outings we have - quite enjoyable company is it not? Albeit we almost got into a fight (THANKS AR KIENHOE). Can't wait to try Rice Table. =) Love ya all.

I'm alrights... just in one of my moods again. Will update when I'm done thrashing out my wordplay.

Suddenly all the words I'm so fond of escape me and I am left with but a simple tune. Sounds Like I'm Okay, But I Could Be Better.

Soon! SooN! SOON!

2008-04-04T22:51:00.007+08:00

Almost 5 April.

In another 13 hours or so I will have completed the dreaded AFP exam and thus will be free!

Free to daydream about travelling, to date my imaginary boyfriend, to act on my impulses and satisfy my urges!

Hell yea!

I'm not an avid shopper BUT I'm currently having a really badbadbad urge to shopshopshop. ^^ Think too long never get out already. =X

Shopping List
MORE heels/pumps/flats/slippers/anything that can be categorised under Footwear
Bag
Sweater
Beanie
Satin blouse
Scarf
Specs
Lingerie
Accessories
Pretty stationery
Stockings
Men's shirt (for sleeping!)
FBTs
Body scrub
Eau de toilette?
Travel stuff?

Ahs. List is like neverending. Unfortunately, it just ain't the same case for money. But heys, I'm thankful. Lucky to get the opportunity to go Romania, to be able to extend go Greece and Amsterdam. Even luckier for Mum to give me $. X10 luckier for my godma to strike 4d and hence give me more $. So Dad doesn't hafta sponsor so much... which means he'd be more inclined to sponsor me stuff. Which means got $ for shopping. Muwahahahaha.

And you know what! X100 luckyluckylucky me. Went past Westmall after work today and spotted a decent pair of heels and pumps. So I got them! Last pair for both somemore! My gosh. ^^

I hope the luck continues... let me pass AFP and let us win GMC. hee~ *crosses fingers*

Alrights... gonna go have a great shower and start, yea I really mean START studying for the exam. Super last minute la. But I really no motivation!!! *sighs* Was thinking of asking dumbass to ton with me but I think cmi la - I sure end up talking cock de. Still craving for Chicago cheesecake! Hee.

Really gonna try to focus. >.< Which means no music tonight. Sobs. =(((

Tonight gonna be another sleepless night... but heyssss, on the brightside, there's shopping to look forward to, tomorrow's class dinner, Sunday's pressie shopping, KNS dinner, et cetera et cetera... *bEams.

Can't wait. Can't wait. Can't wait. ^^

*updates*
1:30am now. Barely an hour and I feel like sleeping. I look at the pile of notes and I KNOW there is no way I can sift through everything by tomorrow. So I think I'd rather just give up now than to waste any effort.

65 MCQs. 25% chance.
"I'm a risk-taker, a gambler. "
In other words, I'm suicidal. ^^

Too high to feel anything. Wowwwhee!

Nites~

Love Like That

2008-04-04T00:57:00.002+08:00

Like You'll Never See Me Again - by Alicia Keys

If I had no more time
No more time left to be here
Would you cherish what we had?
Was it everything that you were looking for?

If I couldn't feel your touch
And no longer were you with me
I'd be wishing you were here
To be everything that I'd be looking for
I don't wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don't wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
'Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed

So every time you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you'll never see me again
Every time you touch me
Touch me like this is the last time
Promise that you'll love me
Love me like you'll never see me again

Oh Oh Oh

How many really know what love is?
Millions never will
Do you know until you lose it
That it's everything that we are looking for
When I wake up in the morning
You're beside me
I'm so thankful that I found
Everything that I been looking for

I don't wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don't wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
'Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed

So everytime you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you'll never see me again
(can you do that for me baby)
Every time you touch me
(see we don't really know)
Touch me like this is the last time
(see everyday we never know)
Promise that you'll love me
(I want you to promise me)
Love me like you'll never see me again
(like you'll never see me again)

Oh oh oh oh oh

Love this song to bits. ^^
Supposed to start studying for AFP tonight.
BUT. =X There's always tomorrow!
And tomorrow's always a better day!
Jiayou everybody! Whee~

Was I overly-demanding?
Is this too much to ask for?

another empty night~

2008-04-02T03:46:00.003+08:00

one moment i can be higher than the sky. the next i'd plummet into the depths of the earth.
i like the stillness of the nights. feel the soothness of his voice and how his guitar resonates in the background.

it's not that i'm needy. it's just another one of those times when you miss the intimacy of a relationship. when you yearn to sit in his lap and lie against his chest, hearing the lubdub of his heartbeat and feeling yours quicken. or straddle him comfortably and look deep into his eyes, just so to feel yourself falling all over again. or twiddle with his fingers and feel the mischief yet so much bliss. hold him that tightly cos you're afraid he'd let go. feeling so damned secure in his presence you never wanna let him outta your sight.

It's our god-intended right to be loved love loved love loved~
(I'm Yours - Jason Mraz)

Weekend~

2008-03-31T04:39:00.006+08:00

It's almost 5am and yes, it's the beginning of a brand new week!

Kinda having Monday blues already though. All in anticipation of a bad week. Please let time fly asap and bring 12 Apr nearer to me! Can't wait to fly, like really strong urge to depart NOWNOWNOW. Bad week cos there's AFP test this coming Saturday!!! And I suddenly feel tight for time. Like, tomorrow, I'd only be free after drums but I wanna go Kino and get a sweet something for Miss damned-right-you-who-have-been-too-busy-with-your-mid-terms-to-chat-with-me! =P Gotta be home early to do chores, and if everything's fine, squeeze in time for a nice jog! I miss the night air.

Tuesday there's a meeting early morning for the Management Comp. Still feeling kinda sore about him ignoring me la. Ays. Maybe cos he always catches me doing mad stuffs. And he disapproves like maybe I'm too wild for him? Lols. Maybe his daughters are those who like gals and maybe they'd fall for me? Okays. That's a random thought. A lil crazy too. xD Then need to pia all the remaining chores before my parents fly back and find the house looking like crap. =XXX Scared no time to finish my French exercises in time for the evening though. And I hope Lyds don't pangseh me like AGAINAGAINAGAIN! Ahas, though I might have another guy for company on my way home la. Lols. ^^

Which leaves me, literally, with just Thursday to mug for the damn test? Cos I'm working full shifts on Wed and Fri. Damned. I hope I don't fail. *crosses fingers. again. and again. and again.* Three times lucky I hope.

Parents flew off to Bangkok on Sat morning, so it's kinda just Xin and me. Firstly... I wanna apologise! Sorry sis!!! Abandoned you on Sunday night to chill with my friends. Don't angry okies... I'm like doing all the chores as an apology hors. =)

I'm up so late cos supposed to watch a movie together but you fell asleep first! haha~ Hope I can wakey tomorrow. And be alert enough for work. AND drums! =)))

Hms... loadsa my close friends got attached recently. Doesn't help get my mind off things cos really, all I'm in is like some loveydovey mood wanting nuts but kissywissys ar. And yes! One of my bday wishlist is 21 kissies okies! So KNS babes! Do something! =P Trying to come up with more tangible stuff. Getting greedy though. Oopsies. =X

Somehow today was in a pretty nostalgic mood though? Maybe seeing the mug really brought back memories. Maybe it's just East Coast. Ahas. Kinda cynical though, seeing a friend getting dumped by a ugh. She's like soOoOoO goddamn pretty la, hello. Why is he like sucha bastard, really! My gosh. Really really cynical cos it makes me feel like all guys are kinda jerks. Bleahs. And I don't like, like girls enough to seriously completely give up guys. Hehs.

On a happier note though... I kinda affirmed stuff which made me crazy happy. To know that I'm right? Or know that possibility exists? I don't know la. Instinct is telling me a lot of things though, so i'll just let stuffs flow. =) I know I know myself well enough not to do stupid stuffs though. Humans are generally cautious beings. I guess that's how the saying "Once bitten, twice shy" came about.

Being a silly goose.

Please, Please. Please!
I really need a good night's sleep.
Dear cough, let me be at peace!
Condemn the virus to levels of hell so damn deep
So that Evey can neither choke nor sneeze.

Won't Be Soon Before Long

2008-03-26T21:36:00.005+08:00

Maroon 5 finally held a concert here!

They were really good, and the atmosphere was pretty hip and all, but it was a disappointingly short concert. Kinda expected it to be like 2h long? I know nothing lasts forever BUT the actual thing was like an hour?! *feels cheated of $125* -.-

Was hoping they'd perform most of the new album tracks, plus my faves from their debut album. Ohwells.

Really ecstasically high while it lasted though. xD I so dig guys who twiddle with the mike stand while crooning ya. I think it's pretty common ya but ahs! it's pretty sexy. ^^

Spent over an hour trying to get a cab after everything ended though, and that pretty much ruined the mood as well.

Still! In really loveydovey mood! Tim says I am despo lor. Thanks ar. -.-

I feel like it. But I start thinking, and I end up confusing myself.

Nothing Lasts Forever - Maroon 5

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Though we have not hit the ground
Doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains

Felt a bit upset when they performed this yesterday. *sighs* I miss Sunday mornings.

Long Weekend

2008-03-23T20:30:00.007+08:00

The long weekend's almost over; sad to say I didn't accomplish much of what I intended to. Spent a lot of time sleeping - been waking earliest 2pm - 'cos I really need the rest to quickly recover from my dreadful cough. Each night is getting harder for me, even with my meds I struggle to fall asleep. Thankfully the times when I cough myself awake are decreasing, and I actually get to dream (albeit nightmares =S) whilst asleep instead of just KO-ing.

Saturday - at Costa Sands Pasir Ris celebrating Hana's 21st! =) Bday gal specifically requested guests to dress up 'cos she wants a COSTUME PARTY.

(left) Me & Hana - She's an Angel, complete with wings though I don't know why they can't be seen here.

So few peeps dressed up la - I feel so cheated!!! haha~ proves that we are good friends ya. ^^

Karen, Minghui and I spent most of the night camwhoring away. Realised that my surname is rare, hee~ and that Da Bai has the same surname as me. Also found out that Pee's bf has a funny surname - Sai!!! Wahahahaha~ =X

And I made a terrific discovery(!!) - Mac users can directly upload photos to Facebook via iPhoto. =D =D =D But my internet connection lousy - somehow my uploads never fail to fail. -_-"""

Tried my best to be a good girl on Good Friday and spent some time with my family. Helped my cousin set up his Macbook - he's so lucky! But such a Beng. Tsktsk. Went to visit my uncle after that. He's a bachelor and stays at this 3-room flat in Tampines. Must say i really peifu him - he's soooOoOo neat and organised! If I had my own apartment, yeaps, I'd want to stuffs to be that way too but judging from the looks of my room now, *coughs*.

Hokays! This is where I resolve to tidy up my bedroom and study area by the end of the week. Been putting it off too long already; really need to clear up all the poly materials and throw stuff away to make space. =))) Finding it hard to get started though. Lazylazylazy me. ^^

And I really need to do something about my eyesight! Been having problems seeing nearby stuff recently, so finally had it checked today. *gulps* Really worsened alot. =((( Astig also increased. Argh. Oh wells. Hope they stay that way, best if can decrease. *keeps fingers crossed*

Happy for you. Travelling's always a good treatment I guess. My turn soon!!! Stay cheery!

a tinge of melancholy~

2008-03-22T02:15:00.003+08:00

Now You Tell Me - by Jordin Sparks

Is there anything that can make you happy?
I don't know what to say to make it better
Seeing you like this, down and hurt so badly
When you have been so kept together

What's this?
All this time I thought you didn't need me
Now I've gone from you and now you tell me

You're in love, but that's not what it was
All those times that passed by with no signs
And now you're telling me
You miss me, boy why couldn't I see?
And my heart don't agree with what you're telling me

You were nonchalant, strong, and unaffected
And you never wanted me to be there
I never saw your heart, that's how close you kept it
So right now I'm so unsure how to care

What's this?
All this time I thought you didn't need me
Now I've gone from you and now you tell me

You're in love, but that's not what it was
All those times that passed by with no signs
And now you're telling me
You miss me, boy why couldn't I see?
And my heart don't agree with what you're telling me

No attention was given
No affection from you to heal the hurt
I was hoping
I was wishing
Just to listen and to hear those words

there are some things we don't understand, things we may never know.
alas! I want, but cant.

beginning of many endless dreamy nights~

2008-03-19T22:22:00.008+08:00

Today's one of my good hair days, so yeps, feeling pretty which makes me happy enough to survive today. =)

Couldn't sleep last night >.<... went to bed at 4.30am and slept fitfully till my alarm rang at 7. Supposed to crash Pee's 8.30am Lecture at NTU de... but I woke up feeling so shitty I decided to pangseh! SORRY pee!!! Guess gotta wait till next week to see ya. Psst... actually I watched Step Up 2 already... but I wanna watch again la. Hehe~ ALOT of eye candies ya! Yumms~

Was tired. Couldn't sleep. Realised that some of my Ubin photos did get uploaded on Facebook. So yeps, what better way to while the morning away by attempting to upload photos! You gotta salute my patience man - for every 10 attempts, less than 1 succeeds. -.-" Don't know what's wrong with my connection. Till now, I'm still trying to finish uploading D&D's photos. -.-"""

Tried to nap. Couldn't sleep either. *sighs* Partially cos I kept coughing, but maybe also because there was just too much on my mind. Hmms.

Anyways... work was slack! Spent afternoon shift eating and night shift getting massaged by Doc. Lols. Asked him about my meds... he say the seriousness of the side effects vary from people to people. Anyway, of my 3 meds, I think the other two is to counter the side effects de. -.-"

Walked myself home today. Weather's pretty nice - cool, cold even, when the wind blows. Perfect temperature to have a warm hand clasped over your cold fingers. Perfect timing to huddle against a sturdy shoulder. Perfect night to chill out with a special someone. With good music, or a movie, maybe a booze or two. And just enjoy each other's company. Might not be your lover. Could be the best of friends. It'd still feel wonderful to embrace the warmth and comfort of a fellow mate. =)))

Anyways, this is a pretty sweet song... pretty into it today, maybe cause I'm dreaming of being in love too much already. hahas~ This song is like perfect for MisterK la! All the best alrights! (Though my well wishes seem a teensy bit too soon. ;) )

If That's Okay With You - Shayne Ward

I need a sandman to collect all my worries and lure me into thy sweet slumber.

c'est la vie~

2008-03-19T02:45:00.008+08:00

Glad that Tuesday's better, what with my body getting accustomed to the meds so the trembling ain't so bad le. But I suspect I might be allergic to it because my cough seemed to have worsened and I kinda have rashes. Yikes.

Feeling luckyluckylucky. =))) Was wishing that I could work more shifts for the following 4 weeks so that I'd have more $ for my travel plans. Was also wishing for a tuition assignment for the good $. Got both wishes granted today! But still wondering whether I should take up the tuition offer. I 'd like some time for myself, my family and my friends too ma. ^^

SoOoOo excited about the Europe trip in April!!! Think Daddy's heart is aching from the expenses though... =X Went Borders with Woonies to check out travel books! hehe~ Romania-> Greece-> Amsterdam!! Really need to do extensive research 'cos badly want an enjoyable trip. First time travelling without supervision ma. Spontaneous yes la, but must make sure no cockups. =D Met up with Zhenny and had a damn funny convo over late lunch. Sorry ar Woonies, didn't mean to make you eat again. =P

Lyds pang-sehed for French AGAIN. However, really happy to say that I kinda got back my passion for francais!! Was really dreading lessons 'cos very rusty already plus not used to Bernadette's style. But heys, class was really interesting and fun today, being interactive and all. Noticed that both Pascal(previous French teacher) and Bernadette like to 'pick' on me ar. I guess Evelyne (pronounced air-ver-linne) reallyreallyreally sounds nice in French. *bEams~ We learnt vocab today - adjectives to describe people physically, then we had to choose a famous person and describe him/her in Francais for the class to guess. Ahas~ and I picked Mas Selamat! So fun and funny. =D *psst, vin, jealous? Come take francais with me! =P

Was so exuberant after French that I decided to go for a nice night-jog and sunbian test my armband. And yes! It worked purr-fectly! Hee~ always good to check out product reviews. Wow, never realised how much I've been missing out, jogging without music. It's damn motivating!! Shoulda gotten poddy earlier. =D Had Sara Bareilles accompany me for warm up, whilst my fave BLG really made me run and like, so high till I sing and RUN! In the end stitch. -.-" Very gratifying to work my abs to Low, fascinating about my soon-to-be hot bod and yes! can almost do a split. hahas~

On a more serious note, thought alot about my future during the long run.

Dreaming big~
When I am rich, I'd like to have my cosy penthouse with my own library-cum-art room, dance studio-cum-music room. A roof-top bar. Huge toilets. A pretty, well-stocked kitchen.
Maybe I'd run my own arts school - teach literary arts, fine arts, performing arts.
Maybe I'd have my own hotel(s) - both high-end and budget.
I want to contribute to local arts scene!!!
Be an accomplished drummer. Ahas.

Dreaming miscellaneously~
I want to be a bartender.
I want to have a freaking successful marketing campaign.
I want to be an air stewardess (not the budget airlines kind hor).

Dreaming with feet firmly (I think) on ground~
I wish I'd get the Credit Suisse job. *crosses fingers tightly*
Enjoy good pay for 2-3 years.
Get my vespa.
Backpack around.
Head overseas to finish off tertiary edu.
Get good job.
=)

There's many other crazy shyt stuffs that I dream about la, but these were all I remember so far. =D

So yeps, a veryveryvery happy day for me that's why I thought I'd update. The happiness is just brimming that I can't contain it la~ Hopes everybody gets a bit of it. ;)

Life is short. Get a grip. Live life to the fullest. Every minute, every second. Cheers!

My fringe makes me look young and all these happy thingies have me feeling like a little girl again. =) Getting over is never an option, but moving on is. It's never in me to dwell too long where the darkness lurks cos I've always been a sunshine gal. Please appreciate what you have now - don't hurt your dearest; don't throw your family and friends away with rash stupidity - it's always too late to regret past actions but it's never too late to start afresh. Stand up and finish life's path - paint it just the colour you want. By yourself. Be yourself. Find yourself. Yes, your own feet can very well withstand your weight. Stop your fears. Stop running away. Stop living in history and embrace the future. Create it and make it yours. =)

I don't want to be courted by him.

2008-03-18T01:32:00.003+08:00

Frankly speaking, I find that everything about him has changed. The stuffs that he's up to... Are those his interests he's pursuing... or mine? I remember how I tried getting him to join me for this/that. I remember crying for drums. So ironic now, looking back.

Never really rejected going Thailand with him. Just wanted it as a group date with Bin & Koonies cos I thought seeing them together might just fill in some of the cracks for us.. But it's over.

In a nutshell:

Why I don't want to be courted/ Why I broke up

It all begins with how important love is to me. And yes, it takes precedence over everything. It takes different forms, like how, I love Life in itself.
I believe, when you fall, you are giving parts of yourself away. And give I did. All the love in the world~ Now, I'm left so empty I can't fall in love as much as I want to. So many nice guys around la, can just take my pick. ^^

He was the craziest guy I was ever with - wanting to ground the relationship, and doing so much just to stabilise and make sure I don't run away. I thought we'd really withstand everything, seeing the type of sh*t we went through together. Breaking up shouldn't ever have been an option in the first place.

Once it became an option, things are over. for. me.

Naive? Yes. Maybe.

Dumb reason? Oh no. If you really think so then you suck bigtime in understanding me. But then again, it's a summarised version of things so you probably can't get what's going on in my head. (Here, 'you' = reader. Me not blasting him ar.)

He says his misses me. True you'd definitely miss someone who has shared lives with you for a pretty long period (we are twenty, 4 years'd mean we have spent one fifth of our lives together!). I miss the old him too. The one who's sweet, wonderful, yet sucha jerk. Ahas, all guys have some kinda jerk in them la, just as all gals have inner bitches. I wonder... if it's fear of being alone, not having a better other half, etc that's keeping him there.

It took me so much to walk out. Sure I have had great support. But ultimately, it was an enormous effort just to leave my comfort zone. The things I read still make me cry. And memories still haunt me. But it's time for us to really move on and experience life as it should have been.

=) Friends...? not till he gets over me proper. Otherwise it's gonna be trying.

>.< Monday Blues

2008-03-17T02:03:00.006+08:00

Back to work today - really busy for the first time in days. Constantly having patients! Was so worn out I just napped during lunch break instead of heading home for a meal. Doc said my cough is bad, cos I was wheezing. =(((

Which means medicine! Really hate taking medication. *sighs*

GENERIC NAME: ALBUTEROL
BRAND NAME(S): Proventil, Ventolin

SIDE EFFECTS: Tremor, nervousness, shakiness, headache, nausea, lightheadedness, difficulty sleeping, unusual taste in mouth, increased appetite, muscle cramps, flushing, or dry throat may occur the first several days as your body adjusts to the medication. If any of these effects continue or become bothersome, inform your doctor. Notify your doctor if you develop: a rapid heartbeat, chest pain, dizziness, coughing, wheezing. In the unlikely event you have a serious allergic reaction to this drug, seek medical attention immediately. Symptoms of a serious allergic reaction include: rash, itching, swelling, severe dizziness, trouble breathing. If you notice other effects not listed above, contact your doctor or pharmacist.

Poor Evey demands tender loving care! haha~ I think the side effects pretty much ruined my day. Usually I'd look foward to ending my blue-ish Mondays with nice drums lesson. But it was just so frustrating today la! *gRr~ it's not that I can't play, it's just that I cannot sustain cos I just couldn't concentrate. Then in the end try till feel so giddy I just felt like crying. Was tahan-ing all the way. *sighs* So angry with myself. Hmprhs.

Quick updates - D&D last Wed (cute waiter!) + Ubin Cycling Trip on Sunday. Many photos to share but extreme sadly, Facebook and Bloggy refuses to help me upload them despite my several chivalrous attempts. *sighs*

Anyways, this is a pretty gloomy day so I'd thought I'd spice it up with good news - I'm gonna be travelling! Wow-whee~ Europe in April & Thailand in May! *bEams~ Will elaborate more when stuffs are all confirmed. ^^

I never expected to be able to travel to Europe so soon. Always thought my first trip there'd be in my mid-twenties, probbie with my bf backpacking throughout the whole of Europe. Lucky, lucky me. =)

*crosses fingers* Hopes that I can upload photos soon! Hopes that I can get sufficient capital for travel! Hopes that loneliness keeps its cold cold arms away from my warming heart! Hopes for that one day. =) silly goose me~

Happiness is My Source of Contentment

2008-03-15T02:58:00.003+08:00

Dearest Bloggy,

Mr Tim remarked that I've been neglecting you. I am so so sorry! *hUgs & sMoochies*
Promise I will make it up to you with superduper many entries alrights?
Miss you too~ ;)

Love,
Eve

haha~ silly me with my imaginary blogspot boyfriend. =) Been meaning to update 'cos I really really have a lot to say, not just the post-breakup thoughts, responses to his entries/thoughts but also manymanymany things I've come to realise. Like how I'm sucha lucky girl. *bEams.

Everyday I have different "entries", which I just draft on my HP. Alot of emo stuff, so sometimes I hesitate to pen. Now, I'm in the mood to like blast 5 entries or something but erms.. TA test tomorrow. Oopsy. 3.16am and I haven't started studying. Gonna nap first then wakey at 6am to start revision. Wish me lotsa luck for this!

Currently - just wakeys from the 11pm-1am nap then feeling very alert - checked out itinerary and stuffs and ohs, just get so high all over again. Finding myself perpetually happy nowadays, and I'm really contented with what I have despite knowing that I lack 'alot'.

Very very thankful to be so blessed.

=)))

Craving for a nice snuggle,
Rearing for a kiss.
Yearning for a cuddle;
Is it you I miss?

the "sms"

2008-03-05T21:31:00.002+08:00

this is really complicated. for simplicity's sakes... I'll just do it your way and say:

"hey, sorry, but i don't think we can be together anymore."

And I ain't hell bent on quitting. Whatever it was, I quit ages ago.

I quit the very day you split.
After 4 beautiful years, don't you understand what Love means to me?
Take care.
Goodbye.

P/S: Your stuffs, dribs and drabs of it lying about my place. You can come collect anything at any point of time. Just give my Mum a call. I don't think I'll ever get around packing.

-

2008-03-05T12:58:00.002+08:00

Gotta fix that calender I have
That's marked March 05
Because since there's no more me
There's no more anniversary
- (adapted from) So Sick, Ne-Yo

March Madness!!!

2008-03-03T14:49:00.003+08:00

03/03/08
*points to '3', squeals: "my favourite number!"

Okays, that's random shyt.

So March is beginning, and I guess it's time to update*update*update!

Supposed to start looking for jobs today. Really dreaded job-hunting 'cos of my seemingly impossible schedule:

Mon: Drums! (6.15pm - 7pm)
Tue, Thu: French! (7pm - 9pm)
Wed, Fri: AFP (9am-1pm), Night Shift@Clinic (7pm - 9pm)

Not to mention I'll be working some of the Weekend Shift@Clinic (9am - 12.30pm). Which means I'd need a really flexi job. And no, I don't wanna do sales. Too draining already. Geez.

But heys! Having a lucky streak! =)
Apparently one of the day shift staff is quitting, so I'll be starting work @Clinic like, tomorrow morning. Still can't believe the timing. Still thinking of teaching tuition though. Gonna check out the schedule tomorrow then update okies! =D

I'm really really really thankful. Not just for the job, but grateful to friends and all (THANKEWS FANG FOR YOUR LETTER!). Thankews to class for making the Sentosa outing sucha success. *bEams. I can't believe how the class is so much closer upon graduation. Hope I can go for Thurs okies! And ya, the luck - yesterday's Mahjong kena bao still overall win $1.

Really swinging into momentum now. It's 3.33pm now, and a lot left to accomplished - jogging, reading, BD (yes, I haven't submitted the final report. Nono, there isn't even a final report 'cos I haven't done it. *rolls eyes*). And of course, *. Hope to finish * and pass it to Mook by Wednesday.

You say that if it makes you sad then I shouldn't pass it to you. But I don't think it will. I just wanna explain myself, my thoughts and my feelings. I'm relieved that you know how hard expressing myself is, and I'm thankful for your understanding and patience. I was very happy last night... when you spoke to me and it was though 4 years ago, when we were close friends. =)))

Oh, and before I forget, I must thank my family for their support. Yeps, on the leap day, I broke the news of the breakup to them. They were very nice about it *phews~*. Although Mum's concern can get pretty overbearing at times, but yeas, they're very sweet. =) haha~ Only Xin will read this though (You better study hard ar =P). Dunno if Dad knows about my blog anot. ^^

Last but not least, something random to end off:

Heard that in China, farmers actually skin puppies for their fur. The poor things are actually skinned alive. Their heads are repeatedly stepped on first. Then, they wriggle and writhe in pain and tear blood as the inhuman beings tug at their skin, as though unwrapping clingwrap.

I wish...
that this will be stopped soon. I hate it how humans can be so heartless.
Granted they might not be educated and it's for money... still... such acts are so disgusting that if you had a heart you'd rather die then do this shyt you know.
Maybe your karma'd be you on the ground with your head being stepped on by 300-pound ladies in stilettoes. Then, you'd be hung up like a piece of meat, and first, they'd chop off ur ba*ls and d*ck before tearing up your skin.

Ohwells. Somebody please stop this soon. >.<

Bitter Dilemma; Sweet Memories

2008-02-25T11:37:00.006+08:00

I think there's so much left unsaid between us.
Mainly from me? I'm sorry, it's been 4 years and I'm still no better off at this.
I don't know where we are now; we're both hurting but I hope you'd be okay soon.
I understand it's hard but I wish sometime soon we can still be friends and go back to when we were younger and be the good friends we were. If it's really not possible then yes, I will accept it.

There's alot of things I don't get about this whole affair, but I know we should never be selfish. And I won't be. I think this is the best I can do and I think it's what's best for us in this point of time. I'm sorry...

I know we gave it our best shot
But still, I'll keep you in my heart

Take care, love.

The Final Step of Love

IT was the hardest decision I've ever made,
this much I swear.
Felt like I stabbed my heart many times over -
so hard to bear.

Leaving you, could very well be my greatest regret
Need to get over you... but not forget:
Our love was the sweetest dream
The sunshine days
And the breathless nights

Hey boy, my lover
Walk with me till the end of the road
Finish the chapter
End this rapture
In this final step of love

It's gonna be the most difficult thing to do,
living alone.
Feels like I... lost the love of my life -
the only one.

Leaving you, could very well be my greatest regret
Need to get over you... but not forget:
Our love was eternal hope
Careless laughter
And passionate desires

Hey boy, my lover
Walk with me till the end of the road
Finish the chapter
End this rapture
In this final step of love

Hand in hand we strolled together
Step by step we're moving further
And oh... how I wonder...
Can we really be friends from lovers?

So boy, my lover
Walk with me just one more time...
till the end of the road (Just one more time)

To finish the chapter
End this rapture
I need you with me here (Oh boy yea)
In this final step of love

Final step of love
Final step of love
In this final step of love

Sorting Out My Thoughts

2008-02-19T02:42:00.004+08:00

Been pretty emo lately, trying not to think too much and I'm really grateful to my friends for all being there for me and spending all that time talking and checking to see if I'm fine!!! Old friends and new, thanks a lot guys! =)

I'm glad that my thoughts are finally clearing as I think of what I want from my life. Money can buy you anything except time. And love, I believe. I want to remain the idealist, the one I told Rynel I wasn't anymore. Oh wells.

I just need to know that at the end of the day, will you be able to accept what I want, even if it isn't what you want? Will you let me go if I want to be free?

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you got to rise above

I am invincible
As long as I'm alive

Random

2008-02-18T15:46:00.002+08:00

Came across this in 8 days, as told to me by Roy:

I tattooed your name
across my knee
but i fail Prembry Eight
so i spell wrongly

It's a series of Ah Beng Vday poems. So cute hor? Lols.

If I were holding back my feelings...

If I let myself go,
If I don't hold back...

Would I fall for you again?

Or would I fall for another one?

Random

2008-02-17T15:35:00.002+08:00

Will you catch me if I fall?

Will you fall with me into this endless abyss?

Songs Make Me Wild

2008-02-16T03:38:00.006+08:00

My Everything
by Michael Buble

You're a falling star, You're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

Roy said to enjoy the solitude of the night. Owells. I've spent half of it singing.
I love songs - especially when the lyrics just make you swoon, and the music makes your heart leap. I like how good songs make me feel; I think that's why I can tahan listening to the same song over and over again. =)

As I whiled away the sleepless hours recording, deleting, recording, deleting... I suddenly remembered this song. And along with it I remembered you saying... how you'd sing this to me as your proposal? Hehe. It was the sweetest thing I've heard! Mainly 'cos I was so in love with the song and secretly wishing you'd sing it for me. =X

Anyways... Happy Valentine's Day! Sorry about how things ended, but I did have fun with you okies! =) Thank you so much for everything. You needn't have, really. But it was really really sweet. =)) Sorry I couldn't give "the little smile" you were searching for. I suppose I am looking for it myself too. =X

I miss singing love songs with the feel.

"Love is overrated"

2008-02-14T04:30:00.006+08:00

Dance Floor Anthem (I don't wanna be in love)
by Good Charlotte

She’s going out to forget they were together
All that time he was taking her for granted
She wants to see if there’s more
than he gave she’s looking for

He calls her up
He’s trippin on the phone now
He doesn’t want her out there
And alone now
He knows she’s movin it
Knows she’s using it
Now he’s losing it
She don’t care

Everybody put up your hands
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Feel the beat now
If you’ve got nothing left
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Breakin' up now
You’ve got a reason to live
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love
Feelin' good now
Don’t be afraid to get down
Say I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be in love

hmms~ remember when you wanted to know how I felt? This song kinda says it all. =)
I hope you understand how i felt previously. Still grappling with a lot of stuffs now - realisations, lessons learnt, emotions felt.

Chinese New Year 2008

2008-02-08T00:00:00.000+08:00

It's the year of the Rat!

This year... same old same old - yet so different. Couldn't be bothered to shop for new lingerie, new shoes, new accessories. I guess it's just so much has happened and that I'm so tired.

Promised myself not to think so much! Standard procedure for today, first day of CNY. Glad to catch up with my cousins, and yes... indulge in yummy foodies - curry chix, popiah, radish cake, ngoh hiang, pineapple tarts, bak kwa, chocs... etc. Ended the day with a mild cam-whoring session with my dearest sis. hee~

Tomorrow will be a better day. =X

Save the Last Dance for ME!

2008-02-05T03:54:00.000+08:00

Cough till I ain't able to sleep.

So Youtube is my BESTIE FRIENDDD in these wee hours. Was checking out MTV for Flo Ri Da's Low & Chris Brown's Kiss Kiss... then suddenly feel the nostalgia flooding my senses. I miss choreographing those cheapo dances for NCC's annual ORD, miss dancing for class, miss dancing NJC's orientation dance, miss dancing for Maelstrom (NJ cheerlead!), miss dancing in SA.

So funny how my platoon chose me and Ser to choreograph all the NC dances - when we don't even have dance background. Hehe~ Miss the platoon man! Seems natural for Ser & Xue to be the ones to bring me clubbing. Ahs. I miss dancing with them.

Hope the plan to club & learn dance pulls through with Ser. *gRins xD

Oh mans Oh mans so high on hiphop now. Can't wait to hit the dance floor again. hehehe~ Kill me please and lay me to rest!

Ms Softee

2008-02-04T09:22:00.000+08:00

7-11 used to carry Mr Softee.

I loved it. Till they changed the ingredients. Somehow things were never the same again. And I lost my fondness for it.

But you will never forget the old taste.

Ong says that it's never easy to ease back into something new again.
Think of it again - it's not really new. It's just - different.

We are single most of our lives. We have our own stuffs to occupy us, our own interests to pursue, our own personal space to withdraw to. But we are still humans. We have herd instinct, we need friends for company. We need many types of LOVE. We are selfish. Yikes.

And we are all different. We work our whole lives away, doing what? Nothing else but building relationships. It gets tiring. Some pillars are easier to construct than others.

I'm just glad that I have 6 solid gold pillars to depend on. Gold gets valuable with time, and it's so stable it won't corrode.

Wee says I should persevere. Lim thinks I'm gonna get another. Pee is stern - no more drinking! heeS~ Woonie hopes I'm okay. Lyds is MIA whilst Choo just had her 21st birthday! So soon we've all grown! Really hope we can have full attendance this Sunday, and that I am completely well, alive and talking and that everything has settled so that I can properly tell my story.

Meanwhile... no pineapple tarts, no chocs, no curry, no prata, no singing, no partying, no boozing. Bahs. At least got ang bao. ^^ Enjoy Chinese New Year ya! =D

It's so hard to express thyself.
In the end, we all end up emulating & emoting; emulated & emoted.

the five people you meet in Heaven

2008-01-28T15:06:00.000+08:00

a book by Mitch Albom

one of my favourite passages:

Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.

Life has to end. Love doesn't.

for a dearest friend. I hope this helps lessen the pain. =)

"i should end this"

2008-01-27T05:06:00.000+08:00

Fear.

It keeps you going. And going. And going.

I hope.

the start of many 21st birthdays~

2008-01-26T14:58:00.001+08:00

It's january, and for the 1987 babies... it's time to turn 21!!! Omg. so old right. =X

Gonna be out shopping for xue's prezzie later. Abit sad to be going alone la ya, but nvm la, go there and socialise lor.

Very angry with doggies for barking. Driving me mad mad mad. Like should I go get a muzzle later. Ahas. Dunno isit they miss him too. Sighs.

And I discovered that my sis discovered Kindaichi on crunchy roll. Ahas. That's it man. I'm a goner. I love Kindaichi! But I like the older versions, where the lead actor is cuteeeer! Ays.

Must work hard for exams. Must Work Hard For Exams. MUST WORK HARD FOR EXAMS. Peeps jiayou! =)

One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...
- Hate That I Love You by Rihanna & Ne-Yo

Life As Per Normal

2008-01-24T06:34:00.000+08:00

KO-ed from the hefty cold last night.
Just woke, and my throat is so very sore.
Still feeling the remnant cold bug in me, but yea, going to work later so can kope medicines. xD

Can't wait for my spree stuff to arrive next week. =D Sadly, papers are on next week too. Can't wait for everything to be over! Gonna go for an early morning jog, then work & maybe a short nap in the afternoon before I officially start studying. =)

Listening to my songs
Lying in bed; Wishing -
Hoping time wouldn't take very long
Under my sheets; Dreaming -
Finding lost Love.
For that, I will be strong.

Feeling relieved. I guess I've been wanting this for the respite it offers us. Trying not to think so much, as much as I want to write alot alot alot. This time there'd be no tears... 'Cept for how I miss you so, for every happy moment that I recall.
Aha, if you even read this, I am leaving Chip in your good hands 'cos he's the dumbass. I suspect you threw them both in the washer though. =X

Another Day (?)

2008-01-22T17:26:00.000+08:00

As I left for work this morning, I caught sight of a dead crow/pigeon lying in the grass.

If this is some fictitious work then it's probably meant to be some sort of an omen, to warn the reader that something bad is just lurking around the next page(s).

Yet, it just evoked many thoughts - how life is short, and that everything has its own cycle; how we should treasure everything, everyone in our life. That sorta feelings.

And I couldn't help but think of my Godpa. =) Miss his slurred words, illogical humour and his cheeky grins.

Reached the clinic and realised that I had done another dumbass booboo - I had my shirt on inside-out - with the tag like in front. Yikes! No wonder whole world was staring. >.<

This promptly reminded me of the other booboo i committed last night. Went to get dar his dinner. Guess what, I parked too close to the damn pillar and couldn't get out. Still kay kiang, and tried squeezing out with the milo and food. I spilt the milo all over me, and a bit in the car. Sighs. In the end, still had to readjust the car. Smartass.

Later on in the day I proceeded to almost lose my finger. Was at the clinic preparing medication for one of the patients so I had to cut tablets and somehow, I wasn't careful and 'left' my finger between the scissor blades. Thank goodness the scissors wasn't sharp, and that I didn't exert much strength cutting. Double yikes. Should really stop doing dumb stuff. Argh.

On a more serious note, during work I received an sms from Peiwen. Her grandma had passed away so she wouldn't be able to join us girls this weekend (both Sat and Sun). My condolences.

Something else happened. =X I hope everything will be alright. Please.

For now, it's time to brave it and celebrate mama's 47th birthday! =)

I'm on the road
To who knows where?
Look ahead, not behind
I keep saying
There's no place to go
Where you're not there
On your rope, I hold tight
But it's freeing

And I take everything from you
But you'll take anything
Won't you?

Run away, run away
Like a prodigal
Don't you wait for me
Don't you wait for me
So ashamed, so ashamed
But I need you so
And you wait for me
And you wait for me

-Prodigal, by OneRepublic

世界巡迴演唱會-新加坡

2008-01-19T20:53:00.000+08:00

Went for his concert yesterday.

It totally blew me brains out. Not to mention it's like my first major concert, so I'm really glad I picked his to go 'cos I really adore him.

It's now 19/01/08, at 9pm... his second concert has just began. I wish I could be there in one of the front row seats, standing and screaming "JIE LUN JIE LUN JIE LUN" haha~

heart just palpitating thinking about the concert - and on the ongoing one... how impressive it is, how funny it's gonna be, oh and how touching his songs are. Sighs.

I'm not a fanatic ya, but i think I am having a serious crush on him. =X

hehe shld be telling you guys the concert details and stuffs but I am too much into swooning to do it now~ shall edit this entry later on i guess.

=D me heart jie lun!

New Year Resolution

2008-01-12T00:43:00.001+08:00

No. 1 on the list!!!

Can't decide between the "stop procrastinating" one or the "lose weight" de.

But visited Sky's blog and OH MANS the fat ass has started exercising!!! I'd better start before I'm the fat ass. Wahahaha~

So yeps... here are my Resolutions:

1) Lose weight for Chinese New Year. Must look pretty so can eat more during the festive season. =D

2) Procrastinate LESS. Haha, dar I am doing this for you and only you okays. ^^

3) Can't think of anymore lehs. Hmms, try not to break the above two resolutions?

hehe~ wonder how long they will last. >.<

2008

2008-01-10T23:20:00.000+08:00

Another new year.

Gonna be 21 soon. All adultish and grown up.

Been busying myself with projects.

Ruining PM and acing BD.

Really apologetic about the bad PM proj, but am glad everyone enjoyed themselves chionging damn last minute like never before. First time we never completed a project. >.<

Hmms.. Ah Keong has been nice... but with my recent not doing this, not going for that, not attending that.. Feel kinda dui bu qi him. Oh wells. Shall study hard to make up for that and my poor grades. Tomorrow gonna get back the FMRP CA2. Hope it's okay. >.<

Anyways, last month in school le... must treasure the time spent with my classmates. Many things happened though, and sometimes I am at the brink of losing my patience. Oh wells. Ren. Ren. Ren. Be a ninja, babe.

Oh oh oh, and it's the new year, so it's time for RESOLUTIONS. Ah, lazy evey though. Save that for another blog post. =X

Season of Joy, Peace & Love

2007-12-17T23:56:00.000+08:00

Long awaited break has finally started! =)

Been so busy that all i really wanted was some time to myself, and I guess I finally pampered my dear darling self with a good bath. In the mood for some nice massage though. *hinthint* ^^

Gonna be busy this break though I was really hoping for time to stone and rock and yea, stone some more! But there's projects - so many of them! Boos. And then I have my KNS for salvation! hee~ really miss you gals. oohssss cant wait for fatt's arrival. tonight tonight tonight! oeis u better msg me to tell me you are back ar.

Xmas is drawing closer... romantic season.. be it spent with friends, lover(s), family. Great time to pig out, yea, so I'd better start losing weight otherwise =X Bad season for finances though. I can sense the letters B.R.O.K.E. surrounding me. Must win more $$ at mahjong. hehe~

Should really update on what I've been up to...

Nov 26, 29, 30 - Food Implosion
haha, I still can't believe we emerged champs of the food eating comp. Ever since then I've been ravaging everything edible. Big appetite = big tummy = pretty no more. Clothes getting tighter liaos. oooooops. >.<
fr left: sky(fellow piggy comrade), me, ah yu (CAPTAIN!), ric (champ eater!)
Listed down eth we ate but sth screwed up and deleted part of my entry then i cant be bothered to retype. Boos.

Nov 28 - Dad's Bday
wanted to treat daddy to carnivore. Turned out that mum had a nasty fall - bruised her face so she had problems chewing. So we ended up eating at home. Gave him liquor chocs. Still deliberating over getting him a DS lite for xmas.

Dec 01 - Blackforest Band @Kallang Leisure Mall
Went to support Grace and Sky at the soft launch of Kallang Leisure Mall - supposedly gonna be a really hip place with S'pore's largest skating rink. First time watching Blackforest Band live and boy, they rock! xD
Go check them out at http://www.blackforestband.com! =D

Dec 02 - StanChart Marathon
I'm a finisher! haha, albeit the last 50. Didn't realise that once you stopped it's really tough to start - what with blistered feet, bruised toenails, ravenous hunger... but we (ly, ric) jogged 20+km before walking the remaining distance. 42.195km!!! xD Really an experience. And I don't think I could have done it without them. Cos it's really boring walking alone. ^^ Great job guys!

It's also Xinwei's bday! So glad she like her pressie. And the donuts. And the c*nd*ms. =PpPP

Dec 05 - Sports Day
So weird ya, that Poly has Sports day. But the weather! Dismal! Poured. Practically buckets. But they carried on, with the opening ceremony and all. And right before my event, they postponed it. Damn.

Dec 08 - ShopShopShop!
Went shopping at Vivo. By myself. Kena pangsehed ma. But still very shiok. =D Love my new heels!!! Yays. And i finally bought something really green. Does not mean I like green though. I still hate it okays. =D

Dec 11 - Guitar
Whilst waiting for the reahearsal for Achievers' Function, actually re-learnt how to play guitar. Feel so happy. ^^

Dec 12 - Achievers' Function
Ah. Ms June co-ordinated the entire thing, coming up with a ceremony within a skit. Great work, though it's tough to try to accomplish sucha major event within the limited time and assistance she had. hee~ shan't comment on the skit la. Stars Ricky as Ong Lai Hock. It's on Youtube though, (label: Ong Lai Hock) courtesy of dar. Shucks. It's sucha nightmare to see myself dancing. But it was fun la =)

And yikes. This is Coffee's birthday. I forgot. =(

Dec 13 - Jamming
During break - with xw, sky, viv & ric. hee~ Really need to prep scores and lyrics. And Moberly needs to know the point of having equipment is to MAINTAIN it before it like TOTALLY SPOILS. -.-"

Dec 14 - Drums & Movies
Progress to using all 4 limbs le! haha~ getting toughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhher. >.< style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 15 - Sing, MJ, Booze
Went out with friends - can't believe I kena-ed sore throat. How to sing lidat. Sobs. Mahjong was interesting, veryveryvery, as usual. and EVEY LOVES BOOZE. Cafe Iguana rocks. Cant help but keep returning to them. Very happy memories. *bEams

Dec 16 - Xmas Shopping
Did a bit of shopping - pressies for my pets. And to make up to Coffee for his birthday. He loved his salmon chunks though. hees~ And yes, finally made it up to my bunny too. Hadn't treat her for ages. =)

Hmms.. guess these are the major stuffs that's been happening, can't be bothered to try remember somemore. Wah. Very lazy hor me, 1 month ++ never update le. Oh ya, I tried Shu Uemara lashes le, but the service quite lousy lehs. Sobs. So it's not proper at all. Grr. Then I no patience to put myself. Rar. I want pretty lashes. ^^

Ever since my hp got stolen, hadn't been hankering for new hp cos it just aint right. No mood also. Still mad with that jerk. But dar says we can get same hp i.e. Samsung U600. It's quite pretty la, and not very ex. Then ar, yesterday went Parkway shopshop, then saw this damn chio phone (Moto Razr 2 V8 Luxury Edition) then now start hankering liaos. Hais. How to tell daddy lidat.

Craving for a nice glass of port. And cheesecakeeeeee. Yummy yum yums.
Plus some Buble or Engelbert or Sinatra or Nat King Cole or Mraz and some nice company would make for good chilling.

Sleeping to dream about you
And I'm so tired
Of having to live without you
But I don't mind
Sleeping to dream about you and I'm so tired

Jeff Dunham

2007-11-18T19:36:00.000+08:00

Heard of him?

He's a damn good comedian/ventriloquist.

I love his videos veryveryvery much and I wish he'd come to Singapore to perform. But I doubt that's possible 'cos he's so unheard of here, and his jokes might be too 'open' for our Govt's liking.

Still, catch him and his puppets - Peanut(my fave!), Walter, Achmed etc on Youtube!

Search Keywords: Jeff Dunham

Phone Stolen

2007-11-18T17:37:00.000+08:00

Don't mean to always be so emo on my blog but... MY PHONE GOT STOLEN!

Hms, was with dar at Macs doing some work while he studied for his MSTs. Smsed my grp members then left the phone on the table in case they replied, i'd know. Then after some time, I went to the toilet. And when I came back looking for moi phone, voila! 'tis gOne. Vamoozed.

When I called, the phone was already switched off. So yeps, it's definitely stolen. The whole mystery of it being how it got stolen under both of our noses.

Feeling pretty anguished about it since it's damn new; only a couple of months' old and I took wondrous care of that phone. Not to mention the photos and contact numbers that I didn't backup.

I know I have a track record for losing things, the most recent being my red organiser which mysteriously appeared in sch in a classroom I never brought it to before =X. And also my gigantic pencilbox with my thumbdrive and my much-valued stationery.

And I am fucking pissed not because I lost my phone, BUT BECAUSE IT GOT FREAKING STOLEN. I am an honest girl; I don't steal, I don't cheat. Why is Karma doing this to me?

So reminds me of just a year ago, when my wallet got STOLEN at a chalet. This year is has to be my handphone. Thanks man. Next year, as dar says, I'll lose myself.

Sorry, Blame It On Me
Even though the blame's on you
I'll take that blame from you
And you can put that blame on me

Fuck it. I should just wear rags to sch and disguise my Macbook as a tattered third-hand piece of shit, mangle my MP3 player, disfigure my DS and use a Nokia 3310 so that none of my stuffs get stolen ever again.

To the despicable bastard scoundrels who ever stole my stuffs, hope you lose stuffs that are a gazillion times more important and may you be anguished for all your eternal infernal lives.

Frustration & Disappointment

2007-11-11T18:58:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you put in so much effort, yet it's left unappreciated.

Other times you attempt to coordinate, 'tis returned with such lack of effort that it fills you with disappointment, perhaps rage, and maybe even sadness.

You think, you wonder - isit a true lack of proficiency for the language? isit carelessness from deficiency of sleep, too much work, weariness & fatigue? Or isit a mere dearth of effort, toil, heart.

Persevere on, I guess. The end is near. I. must. go. on. And. let. my. beautiful. ideas. be. seen. and . my. interesting. work. be. heard. And no, that won't be enough for me. I would like it to be marvelled at, sighed at, and eventually utilised.

Thank you.

False "Break"

2007-11-11T13:48:00.000+08:00

MSTs are over... Even though there were only 2 miserable tests which actually had MCQs and some short answers which merely needed memorising; still I ain't gonna do well! Been busy working on the dumb redundant Financial Phase for my bloody BD. It's so irritating when you don't have figures to work with, and the worse thing is, your client don't even need this but you gotta do it if not the school can't grade you. How screwed up can this get man? -.-"

And yeps, been playing playing playing my DS more than half the time. *bEams. So very distracted and just can't seem to focus on studying. ^^

There appears to be a lot of time. Yet, this all seems false. Have a feeling the next half of the term is full of PROJECT DEADLINES. And yeps, the day of my marathon is drawing near. Near. NEAR. Gotta TRAIN CONSISTENTLY! Yikes. So desperately wanna prove some people wrong... And oh-so-desperate for personal satisfaction? sense of self-achievement? Hee. Just try my best lor. ^^

Hms Papa's birthday is approaching... still mulling over what to get him? Any suggestions? Currently, sis and I are considering giving him a NDS Lite too. Then he and my mama can play! They love my DS games. So cute rite! haha~

Kinda broke to afford the DS though, so is sis. Plus, Christmas is coming and I wanna go shopping! For myself la! And my dear darling! Aiyohs. Like very long never splurge on myself & dar le. Not including the Jay Chou concert tix ar. =X

Got the urge to booze too. Didn't drink much last last Fri at Walawala, but yeps, the music is good. =) And I really enjoyed my dearest PW, K & MH's company. Highlight for that night though, was the cab ride home with this "fortune-telling" cabbie. And god, was he accurate. For all 4 of us. With just a single look, he can tell us our character, and he was good. Damn good. *stunned*

Anyways, helped mh to get her DS too! So happy now got sista to play with me. Haha we can ostracize ourselves in the next KNS outing le. =P

Guess that's all for now. Some things for me to keep in mind: Train for StanChart, practise my drumming, play my DS in MODERATION, listen to Jay's latest album, finish watching Heroes Season 1!!! Yikes. Should do something about my studies.

So much to do(i.e. play), so little time!

Gotta Stop Being Emo Too

2007-11-01T13:08:00.000+08:00

Thy Secret Sadness

Sorrow permeates the depths of the Night.
Every toss, every turn,
Creates endless frustration.
Restlessness ultimately leads to desperate flight.

Eventually, these

all
trace

back
to

Thy Secret Sadness

Gotta Get My Life Back On Track

2007-11-01T12:25:00.000+08:00

One reason why I love art, media & design:

When you know so much. feel so much. hurt so much.
When you think too much. wonder as such.
And it all boils over, overflow, makes you wanna show...

(Use a medium - express yourself!)
Be it
In words - poetry or prose;
In colours - art or design;
In sounds - music or video.

Just let it touch...
Someone. Somebody.

Let it linger...
In the souls of strangers miles away.

And maybe, just maybe...
You might get to taste some form of a release.

Savour the Inspiration...
Feed your Spirit..
Most importantly, Set it Free.

=) look what i've got!

2007-10-30T19:06:00.000+08:00

Last night, dar said he had a surprise for me.

As usual, he asked me to guess what it was. ^^

The night before, he said he wanted to get the 周杰倫2008世界巡迴演唱會 for me, but then there were only single seat tix left, so he didn't. Then, he said that there were 5 performances in HK.

So I thought he got me the HK concert tix!

It's not.

*holds breath*

Clue: It's what I wished for in my previous post.

Nintendo DS Lite!!!
and it's in red!!!!!

*bEams.
I am just so happy I don't know what to say. xD

Thank you so much. ^^
For this, and for all the many different sweet surprises you've given me.
Just wanna let you know, I don't need all the extravagance when I've got you, for you've been life's greatest surprise to me. Love ya and cheer up okies! Evey loves surprises, but she's afraid of Mr Grumpy. >.<

To E-Learning, and Beyond!

2007-10-28T01:48:00.000+08:00

Finally! The long awaited E-Learning period is here! It's time for a one-week BREAK (Boozing, Rocking it up, Eating, Apeing around and KO-ing)!

Been quite an eventful 'last' week though...

First of all, my doggies got into a fight on Monday night. Dar and I were out ma, so we didn't know and couldn't do anything. =( Then when my mama tried to restrain them, she got bitten. =(( Looked pretty bad at first sight, with all the blood flowing and all, but thankfully it's actually a pretty superficial wound. Phews~

mama's wounds...

Tuesday - was finally on time for my 8am GEMs class (Introduction to Seamanship & Boating Theory). Tried really hard to stay awake, but still... Zzz. Dar said the rope-tying and navigation topics are supposed to be interesting, but I suppose it all boils down to the lecturer. >.< Went to Vivo to catch Superbad after "semenship class" with Vincee, Sky, Ric, Peifey & Eileen! It's sucha dick show. Literally! Alot of profanities, and many cute pics of, well, dicks. haha~ And the movie so reminds me of dar and his dearest bin. Especially the sleepover "I Love You" part. The movie's supposed to be 114 minutes, then i tot 114 minutes equals 1h 14 min. What a dumbshit. Only realised my mistake when halfway through the movie, Sky told me it was already 1250!!! Which means we never made it for the 1pm lecture. haha~ Somemore went for french toast at HK Kim Gary. So deliciously sinful!

Another sinful day on Wednesday whereby Gris, Viv, Xin, Ric, Sok, Kh, Tim & I celebrated Liangyu's belated bday with a buffet @Suki Sushi, Cineleisure after school. =X all ate till tummies pop out le! haha~ kienhoe & tim were very funny, and their 'intimacy' also reminded me of Superbad!

I was pretty much dreading Thurs - 8am FMRP tutorial. Followed by a 3h break. 10 minutes CSB interview. 2h break. Then crappy BD. Luckily, I found out that we can just submit our BSG decisions and leave. Which means no need to go for BD! Yays. Still, ended up staying back with kienhoe & tim - doing? Playing PSP & DS Lite. -.-" But very fun! I so want a Nintendo lor, either Wii or DS will do. Very sucker for Nintendo games. hee~

And Friday was pretty much a memorable day for me. =D xD =D All because I was top trader! Haha! So happy... First time ma... Then I've always had lacklustre trading results de.. (Like, no more than 20?) Last Friday's trading also quite successful, 'cos my first two trades incurred me a loss of -100++, which was quite disheartening, but I still manage to earn back and make a substantial profit too. Like so pro right! *bEams. I'm so happy I actually feel like I can get an A for TO already mans. ^^

Then in the evening I went over to Faith Methodist Church to help with the kindergarten graduation ceremony. Felt so drained then. But when you see the kids performing, you really cannot help but smile. From pre-nursery to the K2s, they're all so darn cute! Love the pre-ns, cos they are so so so young, some of them just stone on stage. x) I was helping my papa take photographs, but I'm still pretty much a noob at photography, so in the end I just switch to auto mode and take whatever photos I can. *cross fingers & hope they like my shots*

the k2s graduating... reminds me of my own kindergarten graduation...
*music: the final coutdown*

my fave stars for the night... really made my day to see this trio - the gal shakes her butt so enthusiastically... then the left guy blanks out and didn't dance at all! Instead he kept posing for all the photographers! So cute rite! Then the plump boy on the right just looks oh-so-adorable! He very yandao and suave when he dance! xD

Saturday marks my 4th drums lesson. *gRins. Drumming is so inspirational. It makes me feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. And it made me realised how short my attention span is. hahaha~ I will just drift off and my co-ordinations will mess up. Played my very fave jian dan ai! *sWoons. =)

And I so want my own drums set. >.< style="font-weight: bold;">cajon! It's a type of drum, like a box, whereby you sit on it and play it. It's so very interesting!!! Once saw a band playing it at Wisma, it's really very fascinating... and I've been trying to find out the NAME of the instrument. haha~ Next time got chance will learn!

da cajon!

In the evening, brought my doggies to West Coast Park's dog run... Was hoping to see my favourite Samoyed, but nobody brought, so quite disappointed! Saw many other doggies though. =)

some gigantic dog checking Coffee out

a husky sniffing honey's sweet butt

Owells. October is ending. Halloween anyone? ;) Nov onwards, I will be resigned to taking public transport, cos my dar wants his papa to drive the carcar instead of riding his bike. Dangerous ma. So yeps, I'm gonna walk, take bus, or mrt, or just stick to staying at home.

Unless... I can persuade papa to... Hmms~

Tiruchirapalli

2007-10-20T22:29:00.000+08:00

It's been one week since my parents were back from holidaying.

No more staying up late to do housework.
No more skipping school to do housework.
No more bossing my sis around to help do housework. =p

Yays! Come to think of it, it wasn't that bad la. It's like cleaning up your own room, just that your room has suddenly increased in size by (what seems to be) a gazillion times. I'd have left the cleaning to the very last day, if not for the fact that:
1) I've got 2 very adorable & DROOL-ABLE doggies = sticky floors xS
2) mama has ocd! obsessively-compulsed to clean up.

Can you believe, upon knowing that I cooked dinner, she actually swiped her finger over the kitchen cabinets to see if they were oily?!

Luckily they were satisfactorily clean. (I was too lazy to wipe the cabinets!) hee~ Cooking was very fun though!

Although I only made dinner twice, but I think I've finally gotten the knack for it!

*cheers*

Lovely-ly fresh steak from The Butcher
With Red Wine Sauce & Cream of Chicken Soup!

Chawanmushi. Beefball soup.
Baked beans. Stir-fried egg tofu with minced meat.

Not everything was smooth going though. The steak was undercooked, though still very yummy. *dRools. Hmms.. 1 more minute should be just nice for medium well. And the sauce I prepare too much! haha~ Wasted so much red wine!!! Managed to master Ric's Aunt's chawanmushi recipe, and yepyeps, the second dinner was good though I added slightly too much stock and it's a tad too salty for me liking. The only thing that backfired was the rice! Didn't know 1 cup of 米 equalled how many bowls of 饭. So yeps, tried but failed twice, so I decided to prep Udon for myself instead. Lols.

Think I'm gonna try out a couple more recipes this Wed. Of course, must get mama's permit to mess her kitchen up first. xD Next time when I become a tai-tai, I'm gonna have a nice big airy kitchen with sleek appliances especially the big OVEN papa never got me. And then I'm gonna take up cooking lessons from renowned chefs and cook yummy stuffs for Mr Boyfriend, my KNS darlings and all my friends!!! (Mr Boyfriend, do you copy the tai-tai part? ^^)

Anyways, I'm very thankful that my parents were back safe & sound. Glad that they enjoyed themselves too. Must have been very fun for them cos they've been in a good mood all week long! *bEams.

This is kinda overdue but still...

THANKS so much to my adorable sis for helping out with the housework and for being sucha good, trouble-free gal.
And of coursecoursecourse, thankewssssss to my dearest Mr Boyfriend for helping me out with the oh-so-dreadful-i-will-absolutely-die-if-i-have-to-do-it-alone ironing. Kudos to him for looking after the two of us so well despite having a rough week full of bad luck. Seems like that bad patch has finally rubbed off us! Hope it'll be smooth-sailing for your FYP, and that you get into Spinnovex! (Even though that means you'll have even lesser time for me... >.<)

P/S: Tiruchirapalli - is the name of some place in India. Haha, I saw this word at Changi Airport's arrivals board and couldn't believe my eyes. =)

of bright lights & fairy dreams~

2007-10-15T01:25:00.000+08:00

14 Oct 2007

1.30pm @ Orchard Hotel.
Accompanied Xinwei & Jocelyn to check out the education fair.

Though I don't have plans to study abroad (not unless Lady Luck throws herself at me & grants me a golden scholarship), it's still a very tempting idea. Might even say it's a dream. Read fang's entry, the one she wrote before leaving for UBC, and yeps, how I agree!

To some sense I've always longed for that freedom & independence. Yes, there's a price to pay for it - the struggles of being alone, being different, being far from your comforts; STILL that concept of "the grass is always greener on the other side" kinda bugs me and puts in me the desire to want to study overseas.

Anyways, kinda sick of the local education system - it's really stifling at times - so I guess if I really wanna pursue a degree I'd like to try out something different? (Thing is, is it really different???)

Couldn't help but to grab several of the Aussie U brochures... They really offer interesting courses in the area of Arts & Social Sciences [which, incidentally, is what I'm really interested in].

After a day's worth of research and consideration though... I've finally concluded:
1) Overseas education costs $ more than local unis.
2) Local unis - NUS, NTU, SMU. Of these, if I pursue my own interests and take Bachelor of Arts, then my choice is narrowed down to either NUS or NTU. I love eng lit, but it's not really practical for me to study lit since I don't aspire to do editorial work etc - so if I take BA then I'd major in Econs and minor lit or take double major.
3) If I wanna study Econs however, I should go SMU.

Hence, SMU = most ideal?

And then comes an even BIGGER question mark. Should I work first or further my studies first??? O wells.

The reasoning goes on.

Maybe I'll be able to get some answers at the Career fair next week.

Just maybe.

到底是先有鸡还是先有蛋？

Virgin Post

2007-10-05T15:25:00.000+08:00

My first post!!!

Been having a lot of thoughts lately... Rather moody actually (macbook pro undergoing servicing = withdrawal symptoms => gloomy evey?)

Anyways, seeing that it's the first entry, gonna keep it as light-hearted as I can.

It's nearing the end of Week 2, and school's going from boring, to extremely boring. Thank goodness I have crazy classmates, although the eating part is getting a bit outta hand. lolx.

My parents are holidaying - Jiuzhaigou, China. For 1 week. So sweet right!!! xD aiy0 I scared will die of starvation. Plus hafta do chores. =X *level of laziness increases to 101%*

Later on gonna hafta wake at 3am to send them to the airport. Which means: Lack of sleep = blur more than sotong => kena bluff during trading. haha~

Can't wait for my lappy to be back - the personnel said 3-5 working days. Sounds more like 3-5 years to me though. *wincEs*

Enough said. Probably will do some backlogging to vent and rant my heart out when I get lappy back. *bEams. xD